Vacuums and Spiders
by Moon made of Ink
Summary: AU Oneshot. "Tauyuya! Why the Hell are you using the the vacuum in the middle of the night!" "Because Kidomaru, I saw a big-ass spider! Thats why!" Rated T for Tayuya's mouth.


**This is my first One-Shot so here you go! DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO~!**

** One-Shot: Vacuums and Spiders**

It was a beautiful Saturday night, the cicadas were singing, young girls where returning from hours of shopping, and the first of the night stars were coming into view. Soon enough, the moon was out and cricket and owls played their nightly song. It was all perfect and peaceful until…

_**VROOOMMM!**_

Somewhere in a small apartment room, a young man with tan skin and spiky hair fell out of his spinney chair. Yes, this man owns a spinney chair.

"What the Hell?" the man got up from his uncomfortable position on the floor, and headed for the door. Before doing so, he looked over too the aquarium tank near the door. It was full of foliage, rocks, water, and bugs. Right as he was about to reach for the door handle, he did a double-take at the cage.

His eyes widen in fear. "Where the Hell is Kyo?" He literally burst through the doors and make a break for it down the hall. After a few apartments later, he comes to his destination. Apartment 666. He knocks on the door loudly and waits for a response. After waiting a few seconds, he becomes concerned. "Ah, Tayuya, are you there?" He was about to turn around when an arm shoots from the door, grabs him by his shirt, yanks him inside, and is set in a dark room. A hand quickly covers his mouth and the other hand; he assumes, is placed over the owner's mouth and makes a "Shh!" sound.

"Shut the Hell up dumbass, or _it_ will hear us!" The man's eyebrow creases in both confusion and relief.

"Terooyay, es hat foo?" the man tried to say through said person's mouth. The other person holding the man captive finally releases their grip.

"Sorry about that." Says a slightly feminine voice. A light was flicked on, revealing a girl either in her late teens or early twenties with long, messy red hair. She was wearing a pair of pajama shorts and a T-shirt. She had a little bandage wrapped around her forehead, and in her hands, was a silver flute, and it appeared as thought she was clutching it for dear life. The man straightened up and gave an annoyed look.

"Tayuya! What the Hell are you using the vacuum in the middle of the night?" the girl in front of him crossed her arms, flute still in hand, and made a playful pout.

"Because Kidomaru, I saw a big-ass spider! That's why!" the man looked at her in annoyance once again. If it was just a little spider, what was the need for a vacuum?

"Alright, show me the 'big bad spider.'" The girl punched him in the arm. She hopped on the couch that was next to the male and crouch down to his eye level. Once there, she grabbed him by his shirt and proceeded to shake him.

"Listen to me man!" She said as if she were in the middle of a war-zone. "That spider is as big as dinner plate! It's all hairy and gross and I _swear _that it tried to spit acid at me!" He gave Tayuya an are-you_-_serious look and shook his head.

"Alright, lead the way." Tayuya smile and leaped off the couch. As Kidomaru was walking like a civilized human-being, Tayuya was leaping from every piece of furniture and ninja-rolling her way there. After a few minute of walking/hurdling to their destination, Tayuya hide behind _another _couch. He soon asked himself, _'Where the Hell does she put all this furniture?' _

"There," she pointed from behind the large piece of furniture. "is the world's nastiest spider **ever!**" because Tayuya dragged him behind the couch with her, he peered over the couch to see….nothing.

"Tayuya."

"Yes?"

"The spider isn't there." She gave him an angry face.

"Yes it is!" she looked over with him. "It's under the coffee table!" she half yelled half whispered. So Kidomaru went over to the quit tiny coffee table, crouched down on the balls of his feet, and smiled.

"Tayuya, this is no monster." He pulls out a palm sized spider. It was hairy; it was gross, but somehow, adorable. "Kyo, meet Tayuya. Tayuya, meet Kyo." The spider just appeared to smile happily at her but Tayuya had other plans.

"Like Hell I'm gonna make nice with that spider! Also why the fuck do you _have _a pet spider?" He walked closer to Tayuya, and she took a step back. He gave her a questioning look, and quickly gave a wicked grin.

"Aww, come on. It's just little Kyo-kun." Soon, the walking turned to running around as Kidomaru proceed to try to tag Tayuya with the spider. After about 30 minutes of chasing, they both collapsed on opposite couches.

"That (pant) thing is really (pant) fucking nasty. Why the (pant) Hell would you want to have a spider as a (pant) pet?"

"Because (pant) I think that they (pant) are really cool. Also, you know I'm going to college for the study of Insects and Arachnids, right?" Tayuya looked dumfounded.

"Oh yeah."

"'Oh yeah' Is right. But seriously, how could you resist such an adorable face." He put the spiders face up with his and made a sad attempt at a puppy face.

"I think I'll survive."

"But seriously, can you at least_ try_ to hold him?" they gave each other a stare-off until Tayuya gave in.

"Oh fuck it! Alright, give me your butt ugly insect."

"Spider." Kidomaru corrected.

"Yeah, whatever." He placed the spider on the table that separated the two of them from each other and waited for Tayuya to take charge. After Kyo left Kidomaru's hand, he looked at Tayuya and wait for her to put down her own hand. She pointed her finger at the arachnid and screamed. "Stop mocking me!" the creature only blinked. "Fine," she shakily let out a hand. "c-come on K-kyo." The spider happily made its merry way up her arm and rested gladly on her shoulder.

"You know," Kidomaru started in a sing-song voice. "he will only get off you if you pet him.~" a vein popped out of Tayuya's forehead.

"Are you fucking serious bastard?" nod. "You son-of-a-bitch!" she was about to pounce on him when he calmly put a hand up.

"Ah-ah-ah, if you try to hit me, Kyo-kun will go splat. If Kyo-kun goes splat, you have to pay me 200 dollars, and you will have little Kyo-kun guts all over you. As far as I see, I don't think you want either of those, now do you?" she started crying anime tears and nodded in defeat. She unsteadily raised a finger to Kyo, and scratched his head. After a little, Tayuya relaxed a little and even smiled. Kidomaru smirked a little.

"See, I told you you can't resist the face." The redhead shot him a small pout.

"Oh, shut up dipshit! You are right though, he is really cute." After a few minutes, Tayuya gave Kyo back to Kidomaru.

"Alright, it was nice visit. Now, don't use the vacuum so late at night, you get a complaint from the old folks, trust me. Well, I'm glad that you and Kyo-kun could be friends.~" he said in a sing-song voice again.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. See 'ya Kido-kun." Without thinking, she shut the door behind her. Kidomaru sat there for a moment.

"Did she really just call me Kido-kun?" he said with a faint blush. "Nah, it's just my imagination."

** I never done a One-Shot because I like longer stories, and especially with a pairing I've never thought about so I don't know if this was any good or not. Please give reviews, flames are accepted, and I DO take requests! X3**


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